43/38
It follows a seemingly ordinary family with a dark secret: they are vampires. They choose not to drink blood despite their natural cravings, but their truth will be revealed one day. It follows a seemingly ordinary family with a dark secret: they are vampires. They don’t want to drink blood despite their natural cravings, but their truth will be revealed one day. Kelly Macdonald is strong as Helen Radley. Bo Bragason is also strong as Clara Radley. Damian Lewis and the rest of the cast are pretty vague and don’t really have any presence. Casting is a huge mistake. The story is about a family of vampires who no longer drink human blood. The problem is that there is no story. It’s more than a few days in the life of a boring vampire family. We rush from scene to scene without anything really happening. There are constant scenes where people are just looking at each other or staring at the wall. Nothing happens and no emotion is conveyed to us. People just stand or sit doing nothing for seconds at a time. Except for Helen and Clara, none of the characters really have any personality. Possibly one of the worst characters I’ve seen in a long time is pseudo-hippie vampire boss Will, also played by Damian Lewis. The character isn’t put together very well, and Lewis’ second-rate acting skills do nothing for the character, so what we’re left with are mostly bad actors, a bad script, and amateur video and direction. We are then told that it is not only a horror but also a comedy. I just watched it and I honestly can’t remember anything remotely funny happening during the entire show. It’s almost amusing how bad the movie is, maybe that’s what they mean? At the end of the day, the movie makes no sense. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s just a fly on the wall documentary about some boring middle class vampires going about their daily routines in a boring way. It’s really boring to watch, and when the end finally came and the long, meaningless speech was over, I said “Finally, thank God it’s done.” I give it a 2 and I think that’s being generous.
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